By Sandra Domingos
Most people go through times when they have trouble getting their thoughts to align with their intentions. When that happens, it can hinder your happiness. It can get in the way of your happiness because these types of thoughts are focusing on what’s wrong, what’s missing, or the negativity of the situation instead of the positives.
- I Don’t Like People – Many people, especially introverts, tend to focus their decisions on how many people will be around. They tend to make decisions that are not good for them because they are not comfortable being who they are. Turn that thought around to doing events but focusing on how you can give yourself care during anxious moments around people. It’s okay to be who you are.
- I Am Too – Anytime you start a thought with, I am “too” anything you get into trouble. People often worry about things that no one else ever thinks about although sometimes one might worry about things that other people do think about. For example, if you find yourself saying you’re too fat, too dumb, too something – to accomplish a goal that you have you need to turn that around to setting up real steps that will get you to your goals.
- I’ll Do that When I – You’ve probably said it before to yourself. “I’ll do that when I go back to school.” “I’ll do that when I clean the house.” “I’ll do that when I lose weight.” You know the drill. Unless you need to do the thing in the blank, don’t allow that to get in your way. If you do need to do it, just make a step-by-step plan to get it done.
- I Can’t Do – You may have heard your child, or yourself, or someone else state that “I can’t do math.” Or “I can’t cook.” The truth is, no one can do any of that without learning how to do it. No one just pops out of the womb knowing how to cook, write, read, or do math. Anyone can learn whatever they want to learn given the time and effort to do it.
- Saying I Should – Have you ever heard that it’s important not to “should” all over everyone? Not only is it a bad idea to create “should” for others it’s a terrible idea to create them for yourself.
- In the Past – Dwelling on the past and what someone did to you in the past or what things were like in the past is not going to help you overcome self-sabotage. While it’s okay to use the past as a learning example, it’s not okay to use it as an excuse not to move forward. Remember you are only in charge of yourself.
- In the Future – Just like you do not want to focus on the past you also don’t want to be overly focused on later. Today is honestly all you have for sure. Focus on today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
- If I Was More Like Them – Never compare yourself to someone else in a negative way. It’s okay to look at what someone has accomplished, learn how to do it too, and follow their footsteps but don’t wish yourself away as only you can be you.
Whenever you find you’re focused on a negative aspect of any situation, try to turn your mind around to focus on the positives. However, sometimes in life you’re going to experience a sad or negative time, that’s normal. It really is not about the ups and downs of life. Those are natural. It’s about how you comport yourself the rest of the time that truly leads to more happiness.