Forgiveness can be understood as more than simply excusing someone who caused harm. In Linda Jean McNabb’s spiritual journey, forgiveness became a practice for releasing suffering, overcoming thoughts of separation and opening the way to greater inner peace, unity and spiritual awakening.
By Linda Jean McNabb
True forgiveness releases us from the false thoughts of separation
Have you ever felt like you were living the same day over and over? Have you ever felt like you were with the same person, except with a different name and face, over and over? Have you ever felt like you were going from one dead-end job to another?
If you can say yes to some or all of these questions, then you are like most people on this planet. I was also living this life for decades. It nearly did me in. I used drugs, sex, and rock ’n’ roll to escape from the drudgery, pain, and bleakness of it all—until I couldn’t anymore. Until I reached a crossroads: change or die.
Searching for Lasting Change
Oh yes, I tried everything—all the formulas, exercises, and recipes for success. None of them worked to give me permanent and lasting change in my life. Even if things temporarily improved outwardly, they would always fall apart, leaving me back at square one, feeling alone, angry, and hopeless.
I observed that my lifelong patterns of lack, guilt, shame, and depression—many times suicidal—kept resurfacing, and nothing I did out in the world changed that. It felt like I’d been banging my head against a wall for twenty years, with the bleeding and bruising on the inside.
At the age of forty-four, after what felt like the millionth failed attempt at a life, career, and relationship, I got down on my knees and cried out to God. If there was a way to experience Heaven on Earth, I needed to know because I wasn’t willing to go on as I had.
Either I had a job I hated and enough money to get by, or I had a job I loved but not enough money. It was making me crazy.
I decided that I hadn’t come here to live a mediocre life. I came here to, at the very least, be happy. To simply be happy—that is all I’d ever wanted since I was a small girl.
Trauma, Addiction and the Search for Spiritual Healing
My childhood was riddled with traumatic, life-changing events. At the crux of my angst was a gang rape at the age of thirteen, followed by the death of my younger brother.
I never reported the rape. I had begun substance abuse by age twelve, which led to an adulthood of alcoholism, promiscuity, poverty, homelessness, and even a small stint in prostitution.
At age twenty-nine, I was first introduced to the world of spiritual teachings through Shirley MacLaine’s movie Out on a Limb, and began the long climb out of the hole I was in.
Eventually, my addictions fell away, one by one. But there was still darkness from my past that lived and breathed inside of me. It had been there so long that it felt normal.
I really didn’t know life without that inner darkness, but I hoped there was something else. I felt like I’d been fighting against it my whole life.
Fortunately, there was always a part of me that would never let me give up.
A Spiritual Awakening at 44
Fast-forward back to forty-four, when I asked to be shown a way to Heaven on Earth.
That night, I went to bed and “awoke” into a state of total oneness. The next morning, I was guided to begin writing and to move to Southern California.
I didn’t want to give up everything and start over again, like I had so many times already. I was told by a voice in my head that if I did this, when I came out the other side of it, I’d never want for anything ever again.
So I did.
Discovering a Different Kind of Forgiveness
Fast-forward to about two years ago, when a book by bestselling author Gary Renard, The Disappearance of the Universe, was placed into my hands. It spoke of a different kind of forgiveness.
As we end our own suffering and awaken to what we truly are, we become living examples of truth.
I also stumbled across and read his second book, Your Immortal Reality, which taught accelerated forgiveness techniques.
I began practicing this different kind of forgiveness. Out of that, I was inspired and guided to write a book about my life and began forgiving the past.
During this process, I observed that as I transformed the relationship within me, the most tumultuous relationships of my life also transformed automatically.
The darkness within me, which was unconsciously ruling my life, left. I literally felt it leave as I awakened spiritually.
And this was just the beginning.
What True Forgiveness Means
It was the deep understanding of the teachings behind practicing forgiveness that made it work for real and permanent change in my life.
And this is not the old-fashioned kind of forgiveness where you say, “You are wrong, but I’ll forgive you anyhow.” That is not true forgiveness.
True forgiveness teaches that we are innocent, immortal spirits and, therefore, cannot be damaged or destroyed. And if we are innocent, immortal spirits, then so is everyone else.
We spend our lives judging what is right, what is wrong, what is good, and what is bad, and then act accordingly.
Our peace is constantly disturbed by the belief that we are a body that has problems and needs things.
True forgiveness releases us from the false thoughts of separation.
Forgiveness and the Illusion of Separation
This world is an illusion and is not our real Home. While it is true that, in ultimate reality, there is nothing to forgive because it is perfect oneness, within this illusion, forgiveness works to awaken us from this dream.
If the divided mind is like an onion, made up of layers of false thoughts of separation, we will eventually undo or peel away all the layers until there is nothing standing between us and our total awareness of our perfect unity.
Much like we awaken from a dream we have while sleeping in our beds at night and see that we have never left the safety of our beds, we will eventually awaken from this dream and see that we’ve never actually left the safety of unity’s perfect love.
We’ve been crying out and yearning for unity our entire lives.
The only thing that will ever satisfy us is the magnificence of unity.
From Suffering to Spiritual Awakening
As we end our own suffering and awaken to what we truly are, we become living examples of truth. From that, we become catalysts, changing everything in our path.
I’m now living a life that I previously thought was impossible.
Where I once built my life on the uncertainty of the unstable sand dunes of this illusion, which easily crumbled away, I now build my life upon the solid rock of perfect peace and a unified mind.
I look at life and say, “This is not a problem,” and proceed from there.
From that place, there is no suffering, regardless of what is happening in the world. From that place, I act only from a place of high wisdom—or not at all.
It is through the forgiveness of life’s greatest tragedies that we are given the opportunity for our greatest spiritual awakenings and life.
FAQ: Forgiveness, Spiritual Awakening and Inner Peace
1. What is true forgiveness according to Linda Jean McNabb?
According to McNabb, true forgiveness goes beyond saying that someone was wrong and choosing to forgive them anyway. She describes it as releasing false thoughts of separation and recognizing the spiritual innocence and unity of ourselves and others.
2. How can forgiveness help release suffering from the past?
The author describes forgiveness as a spiritual practice that can help people release the emotional and mental patterns connected to past experiences, allowing them to experience greater inner peace and a different relationship with their past.
3. What does spiritual awakening mean in the article?
For McNabb, spiritual awakening means moving beyond the perception of separation and becoming aware of what she describes as a deeper state of unity, peace, and spiritual truth.
4. Can forgiveness change relationships?
McNabb says that as she transformed her relationship within herself, some of the most tumultuous relationships in her life also changed. She presents this as a personal experience rather than a universal formula.
5. How does forgiveness relate to spiritual growth?
The article presents forgiveness as a path toward releasing suffering, questioning beliefs about separation, and awakening to a greater sense of unity, peace, and spiritual awareness.
