Fighting for what you want starts with knowing why you want it and having a clear vision of where you want to go. Whether your goal involves health, relationships, or your career, setbacks and resistance are inevitable—but trusting yourself, staying focused and getting back up can help you keep moving forward.
Understand that fighting for what you want doesn’t mean that you have all the answers
When you fight for something, make sure you understand the reasons you’re fighting for it.
For example, this might be something like losing weight, but the “why” is because someone else wants you to. It’s not truly your fight because the reason isn’t yours.
When you want to lose weight because you want to be healthier, then it’s your fight.
Understand that fighting for what you want doesn’t mean that you have all the answers. It doesn’t mean you’re never going to make a mistake or that you won’t be afraid at times.
And it doesn’t mean that you have to put on a tough act to hide your vulnerability.
In the fight, don’t lose sight of who you are and why you’re in it to begin with.
Your biggest resistance may come from within
To fight for what you want, you’re going to battle resistance, and it’s going to come from within.
Especially if your life up until this point has been one of coasting along.
To fight the internal resistance, you’re going to need to make sure that your reason is rock solid. If you don’t really know what you’re fighting for, you’ll quit.
That is why understanding your motivation matters. Your reason has to be strong enough to carry you through the moments when motivation disappears.
Your vision can take you further
You fight for what you want when you have a vision.
Some people lump this in with knowing your “why,” but they are two different things.
A vision allows you to imagine the results of your “why.” It strips the limitations around success and allows you to be more than you ever dreamed you could be.
It allows you to do more, to push harder, to gain in whatever area you have a vision.
Your reason can become a bigger vision
You might have a reason, in this example, to lose weight, but a vision can make you a leader in the fitness niche.
You might have a reason to overhaul your relationship, but a vision can turn you into a self-help guru, or can rekindle a fire between you and your partner.
You might have a reason to have a better career, but having a vision can turn a simple career into your dream.
It can awaken your passion and pour success into your life.
But you have to remember that in order to become more, you must be more.
And that starts with a fight!
Believe that you are good enough
Fighting for what you want means you have to trust that you’re good enough.
That you can do this.
You have to believe that you have what it takes to achieve what you’re fighting for — even if you don’t see that.
Even if it takes weeks, months or years before you see the end results of your fight.
Of course, in any fight, there’s going to be conflict.
Your conflict is going to come to you like it’s tailor-made.
It’ll carry your biggest weakness and look for the chance to knock you flat on your face.
Expect setbacks and temptation
Fighting for what you want means you have to trust that you’re good enough.
For example, if you’re fighting to lose weight, you can bet that someone is going to show up somehow with the biggest, diet-busting meal or dessert that you can never say no to.
So now it’s crunch time.
Do you devour that food like you haven’t eaten in months?
Will you sit around after giving in and berate yourself for ruining your diet?
Or will you put it into perspective, focus on the achievements you’ve made, shake off the food fail and move on?
The setback itself doesn’t have to determine the outcome.
What matters is what you do next.
Fighting for a relationship
If you’re working on bettering your relationship, you can guarantee that you’re going to end up in an argument with that person eventually.
There’s nothing worse than wanting a healthy relationship with someone who knows just how to needle you.
You have to decide that you’re going to keep going if that relationship is the one you want.
If it’s not, then you have no business fighting for it. You’re only fooling yourself and delaying the inevitable crash.
Some people stay in a relationship because they don’t want to be alone.
But you can be alone — even in a relationship.
Make sure it’s worth fighting for.
If not, don’t waste another day of your life.
Don’t settle for less in your career
Maybe you’re fighting for your career and, just when it seems you’ve made some excellent strides, you lose ground.
You can’t just pack up your toys and go home.
You have to show up and keep showing up until you get what you want.
The biggest problem when people are wondering about their career — whether it’s staying with one they have or trying to find something better — is that they often settle for less when they could have more.
If only they would fight.
They go for a job interview and, when they’re offered a salary, they don’t ask for more or for a sign-on bonus.
They accept what’s presented to them without a fight.
In all areas of your life, when you’re in a fight, you can expect some blowback.
It’s just the nature of being alive.
Get back up and keep going
The key to winning your fight is to take the hits.
You might get knocked down, and that’s okay.
The key to winning your particular fight is to get back up again and again until you’re the champion you were always intended to be.
FAQ: Fighting for What You Want
1. What does it mean to fight for what you want?
It means actively pursuing something that truly matters to you, understanding why you want it, developing a vision for the future and continuing despite setbacks and resistance.
2. Why is knowing your “why” important?
Knowing your “why” gives meaning to your goal. When the reason behind your goal is genuinely yours, rather than someone else’s expectation, it can provide stronger motivation to keep going.
3. What is the difference between a reason and a vision?
A reason explains why you want something, while a vision allows you to imagine what achieving that goal could ultimately look like. According to the text, a vision can expand your idea of what is possible.
4. How should you deal with setbacks?
Setbacks are part of the process. Instead of allowing one mistake or failure to define the entire journey, the text suggests putting it into perspective, recognizing your achievements, learning from what happened and moving forward.
5. Should you fight for every relationship or career opportunity?
No. The text emphasizes that you should fight for things that are genuinely worth having. In a relationship, for example, staying only because you fear being alone may mean delaying an inevitable ending. The same principle applies to career decisions and other areas of life.
