By Rosana Braga
Translation: Ann Fain
First, I have to start by clarifying: I do not believe generalizations. The idea that a “man is this way…” or “woman is that way…” just does not work! There are all types of diverse men and women in the world and, if all men were liars and all were women self-centered, – as it is often suggested, there would be no need to invest much time in searching for a mate, since all potential mates would be equal.
Since I am a woman, and a Brazilian, I am going to take a few moments to write on the subject of what I believe women and yes Brazilian women want when it comes to a sexual relationship. Although I do not believe in generalizations, there are some standard feminine desires, or rather, a way of being and feeling, which is part of the feminine psyche. This does not mean that they are all equal.
A woman wants to feel desired and loved! And I add something important about Brazilian women: besides love and sex, she would like to feel protected by her man. She is an independent woman, but by our history and culture, the Brazilian woman would also like to see her man take care of some issues.
They want men to take off their clothes and visually bathe their body in tenderness, gentleness. Women want to feel the heat of his mouth burning her skin as if it would be the last flame. While a woman may be hasty, she also wants to be taken slowly. She wants to feel that each centimeter of her body is tamed, as if it had, at last, opened a map of pleasure. It would be better if everything were not merely pleasure, but that her sexual experience had interest, intimacy, and intensity.
It is this: it has to be “in”! More than just giving, a woman wants to deliver herself. She wants to be consumed by her sexual experience; to be possessed with affection and respect. She wants whatZélia Duncan (Brazilian Singer) so prettily sings, in the music “Sentimento” (Felt): “… Transfer to my body your feelings, that I can feel your pain, your moans, and to understand why I want you…”.
There was a time when women would try to accept the superficiality (ease) of how men perceive sex. They would be content with one orgasm to replace the lack of affection in their sexual relationship. Women would try to convince themselves that sex for sex was enough to adjust themselves to their circumstances. However, I have never really known a woman who was satisfied to settle for this and have nothing more.
I know several that if women were able to desire only this type of sexual relationship, it would be simple because this is easy to find. But, to be happy, shining and complete? Never! A woman wants to enjoy with her heart and even though she can sometimes covet a man for pure pleasure, if she does go to bed with him, she knows that she will never more be the same. I am not speaking of facts, but of the feminine nature.
It does not matter what a woman says or how much tries to be independent, sovereign or self-sufficient. It is not important what she does after she wakes up, gets dressed and goes out into the world; everything a woman desires is to give herself entirely, body and soul…to being loved!
* Rosana Braga is a journalist, lecturer, and relationship consultant. She has authored various books in Portuguese such as “Almas Gemeas (Twin Souls) and “Segredos de um Encontro” (Secrets of an Encounter). She lives in Sao Paulo, Brazil and is a longtime Soul Brasil contributor – www.rosanabraga.com.br
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